Jesus loves you, and wants you to know via e-mail chain letters
If I can take a moment to share with you all--yesterday, a bunch of people where I work recieved a spam chain letter in their e-mail inboxes. The person who sent it basically checked to see who was online, and sent the message to everybody he could. Regardless of whether he actually knows these people. Gotta get out the message that Jesus loves people, whether or not we want to hear it, apparently. It's not that I have a problem with Jesus, religion, or even a majority of the people who believe in Him. I have a problem with someone who feels the need to pull his faith out of his pants and wave it in my face. Put it back, dude, and leave me alone. (I also hate chain letters, which, by the way, are against policy where I work for people who use the e-mail system.) Anyways, I don't believe in Jesus, I don't have to if I don't want to, and if I'm wrong and you're right, then you can wave and point from the Pearly Gates as I burn. I won't judge you for it--I'll be in eternal torment and probably won't even notice you.
So here is the message that got sent to about 50+ people yesterday morning.
"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, Than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. You are my 7 in 7 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!
Bishop T.D. Jakes "7 Second Prayer." Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name.
Amen."
Pass this message to 7 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you."
Now, on a MUUUUCH more interesting note---here is the way I re-wrote it to vastly improve upon the message. =) Honestly, it's something I just enjoy doing. Were my professional reputation not on the line, I would send this back to the person who sent it to me and 50 other people.
"I would rather live my life as if there isn't a God, and die to find
out there isn't, than live my life as if there is, and die to find out
there is. You are my six hundred and sixty-six in six seconds. I am
not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!! By SATAN!!!!!!
If you don't send this to 666 people in 6 seconds, Astaroth the LORD OF HELL and his three minions, Aamon, Pruslas, and Barbatos, will ascend from the fiery depths amidst the foul, putrid stench of burning flesh and gang rape your ass from here to the Gates of Hell and back again. They will rend the flesh from thy bones and feed it to packs of hell beasts and the souls of the unbaptized. They will bend you over and tear you apart at the Pearly Gates themselves.
Say this prayer and SAY IT NOW!!!!!!
"Lord Astaroth, I worship you, I need you, come into my heart and teach me to wreak bloody havoc amongst my fellow man. Dominus Abyssus Astaroth, EGO cultus vos pro totus infinitio."
Pass this to 666 in 6 seconds (INCLUDING YOU AND ME) and feel the pulsing fiery burning stinging warmth that is the Lord Astaroth.
*Passing this message on does not guarantee safety from ass-raping. In fact, either way, you're fucked, my friend. Ass fucked."
Just keep that in mind, folks.
Much love in Astaroth,
Genie
So here is the message that got sent to about 50+ people yesterday morning.
"I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, Than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. You are my 7 in 7 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!
Bishop T.D. Jakes "7 Second Prayer." Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus' name.
Amen."
Pass this message to 7 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don't ignore and let God bless you."
Now, on a MUUUUCH more interesting note---here is the way I re-wrote it to vastly improve upon the message. =) Honestly, it's something I just enjoy doing. Were my professional reputation not on the line, I would send this back to the person who sent it to me and 50 other people.
"I would rather live my life as if there isn't a God, and die to find
out there isn't, than live my life as if there is, and die to find out
there is. You are my six hundred and sixty-six in six seconds. I am
not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!!! By SATAN!!!!!!
If you don't send this to 666 people in 6 seconds, Astaroth the LORD OF HELL and his three minions, Aamon, Pruslas, and Barbatos, will ascend from the fiery depths amidst the foul, putrid stench of burning flesh and gang rape your ass from here to the Gates of Hell and back again. They will rend the flesh from thy bones and feed it to packs of hell beasts and the souls of the unbaptized. They will bend you over and tear you apart at the Pearly Gates themselves.
Say this prayer and SAY IT NOW!!!!!!
"Lord Astaroth, I worship you, I need you, come into my heart and teach me to wreak bloody havoc amongst my fellow man. Dominus Abyssus Astaroth, EGO cultus vos pro totus infinitio."
Pass this to 666 in 6 seconds (INCLUDING YOU AND ME) and feel the pulsing fiery burning stinging warmth that is the Lord Astaroth.
*Passing this message on does not guarantee safety from ass-raping. In fact, either way, you're fucked, my friend. Ass fucked."
Just keep that in mind, folks.
Much love in Astaroth,
Genie
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