Inappropriately timed biological functions
This is no where near as interesting as the title makes it seem, but anyways, here's the story--
This morning, my friend, Skank Kyra, was giving a presentation about an upgrade of the e-mail system for where I work. The upgrade came with a lot of new features, and Skank Kyra was giving a demo of these features. The whole presentation was being recorded for future editing and replay on a campus television channel--save everyone the time and hassle of giving or attending multiple training sessions. Fortunately for me, none of the cameras were facing the group of people to whom the presentation was being given. Regardless, I still sat in the back of the room.
So, near the end of Skank Kyra's presentation, as everything is winding down (but the cameras are still rolling), I feel it. I have to sneeze. Kyra's still talking. I have mere seconds to decide what to do. Leave the room? Try to hold it in? Attempt to thwart the sneeze? I've never done such a thing. Whenever I've tried, it usually just becomes a loud, painful sneeze. No time. Too late. Sneezing. Must... not.... make.... noise.......
(inhale softly) aaahhhh (exhale and sneeze) UUUGGGHHH!!!
Every. Person. In. The. Room. Turns. To. Look.
What the hell just happened?? Where was the sneeze?? Instead, a gutteral grunt!?! What the hell?!?! That's certainly never happened before.
To my left, I hear a friend say, "Bless you," snicker snicker.
Someone else, another friend, laughs as well.
Points to Kyra, though--she kept going. She didn't look at me, because if she had, neither of us would have ever stopped laughing. It took us awhile to calm down once the cameras were off. Some of us decided that instead of edit that out of the film, it should stay. Then we can circulate rumors that I was stabbed by the guy sitting next to me during the filming.
This morning, my friend, Skank Kyra, was giving a presentation about an upgrade of the e-mail system for where I work. The upgrade came with a lot of new features, and Skank Kyra was giving a demo of these features. The whole presentation was being recorded for future editing and replay on a campus television channel--save everyone the time and hassle of giving or attending multiple training sessions. Fortunately for me, none of the cameras were facing the group of people to whom the presentation was being given. Regardless, I still sat in the back of the room.
So, near the end of Skank Kyra's presentation, as everything is winding down (but the cameras are still rolling), I feel it. I have to sneeze. Kyra's still talking. I have mere seconds to decide what to do. Leave the room? Try to hold it in? Attempt to thwart the sneeze? I've never done such a thing. Whenever I've tried, it usually just becomes a loud, painful sneeze. No time. Too late. Sneezing. Must... not.... make.... noise.......
(inhale softly) aaahhhh (exhale and sneeze) UUUGGGHHH!!!
Every. Person. In. The. Room. Turns. To. Look.
What the hell just happened?? Where was the sneeze?? Instead, a gutteral grunt!?! What the hell?!?! That's certainly never happened before.
To my left, I hear a friend say, "Bless you," snicker snicker.
Someone else, another friend, laughs as well.
Points to Kyra, though--she kept going. She didn't look at me, because if she had, neither of us would have ever stopped laughing. It took us awhile to calm down once the cameras were off. Some of us decided that instead of edit that out of the film, it should stay. Then we can circulate rumors that I was stabbed by the guy sitting next to me during the filming.
<< Home